The Mountain Man. Back-to-back titles, an Airstream, one wheel.
Greg Bearden won it all in 2014 and 2015 by mortgaging every future pick he owned, and he has been trying to run the same play from an Airstream in the mountains ever since. He's made seven postseasons, finished third three times, and owns more postseason wins (21) than anyone in the league — a polite way of saying he is very, very good at December. Also rides a unicycle. Owned by Jared 1–11, which is not a typo.
Known for
- Back-to-back champion, 2014–15
- Will trade every future pick for a shot at this year — and has the rings to justify it
- Manages the roster from an Airstream, possibly while unicycling
- Three third-place finishes: the league's most decorated bronze medalist
By the numbers
- FBG Champion — 2014, 2015
- Runner-up — 2016, 2024
- Third place — 2018, 2021, 2023
- Best season — 2021: 11-3, 2,296.5 pts (2nd in reg. season)
- Worst season — 2022: 2-12, 1,554.4 pts (12th)
- Career high — 208.8 pts, 2023 wk 10 vs I'm the Rookie (120.2)
- Career low — 81.8 pts, 2017 wk 13 vs SHUT UP BITCH! (105.5)
Head-to-head
All meetings vs. current owners (both managing their current franchise).
| Opponent | Record | Pct | Postseason | PF | PA | Avg margin | Streak | Best win | Worst loss |
|---|---|---|---|---|---|---|---|---|---|
| Shawn Bosler | 2-0 | 1.000 | 1-0 | 265.4 | 170.5 | +47.4 | W2 | +91.9 (2025) | — |
| Nick Oberhaus | 2-1 | 0.667 | 0-0 | 441.8 | 383.6 | +19.4 | W2 | +58.1 (2025) | -2.7 (2024) |
| Scott Smith | 13-10 | 0.565 | 5-0 | 3,389.5 | 3,523.0 | -5.8 | L1 | +58.0 (2016) | -71.7 (2017) |
| Seth Pepkin | 9-7 | 0.562 | 1-0 | 2,168.1 | 2,209.5 | -2.6 | W1 | +45.8 (2023) | -88.9 (2016) |
| Christopher Palmer | 8-7 | 0.533 | 1-1 | 1,992.6 | 2,106.6 | -7.6 | L1 | +81.5 (2023) | -105.7 (2020) |
| Todd Bailey | 5-5 | 0.500 | 2-0 | 1,408.3 | 1,309.8 | +9.8 | L1 | +88.6 (2023) | -31.8 (2020) |
| Brett Walker | 2-2 | 0.500 | 0-0 | 584.3 | 591.1 | -1.7 | L1 | +41.5 (2024) | -46.3 (2023) |
| Jon Boski | 8-10 | 0.444 | 1-1 | 2,421.5 | 2,647.8 | -12.6 | W4 | +52.9 (2014) | -86.8 (2015) |
| Bryan McClellan | 5-8 | 0.385 | 0-2 | 1,788.7 | 1,980.2 | -14.7 | L1 | +41.7 (2024) | -67.4 (2020) |
| Matt Roemer | 4-8 | 0.333 | 1-2 | 1,631.3 | 1,839.3 | -17.3 | L2 | +97.2 (2021) | -80.1 (2019) |
| Jared Smith | 1-11 | 0.083 | 0-1 | 1,571.6 | 1,887.0 | -26.3 | L10 | +69.9 (2018) | -79.1 (2024) |
Season by season
Franchise lineage before Greg: manager not recorded (2010–2011). Their records are not counted above.
Record book appearances
- #2 Lowest winning score: 90.0 pts (2017 wk 12 vs SHOW ME UR TD's)
Team names through the years
Nico Suave (2025), Nico Suave (2024), Smear the Queer (2023), Thirsty Hippos (2022), Grizzly Adams (2021), Field Day (2020), ED Beaver Cleaver (2019), Pom Pom Sunday (2018), Kareem'in In Yo Face (2017), Free The Zek (2016), Hotlanta (2015), Pom Pom Sunday (2014), Pom Pom Sunday (2013), Hump & Dump (2012)